that Mother's Bond
One of my all-time favorite pictures of my Mom with me as it embodies that sacred relationship between a mother and daughter perfectly.
Let’s fast forward a few years … Shortly after my wedding, my marriage started to spiral down the toilet. My heart and mind were at war. I was in a deep depression for one and a half year. So many thoughts and emotions running through my mind – why am I not happy, what changed, why do I feel like I’m in prison, can I live like this for the rest of my life, is death better than living like this, what will my family think, what will the Indian society think, how will society treat my family if I pursue a divorce, what happened to the happily ever after and am I a failure?
Infinite questions and never-ending thoughts.
I questioned and judged my emotions. I didn’t know why I was alive and what purpose, if any, my existence was serving. I reduced my contact with friends and family. I bottled up all my emotions and let them stir within me. I never shared or confided in anyone. I did not want to talk to anyone and desperately wanted to hide. I was numb and devoid of any emotions by this point.
When the fateful events of September 11th happened, I remember thinking – I wish I was on that plane; at least someone else would be here with their loved ones.
I was lost – present only in body. And dead woman walking.
Then, one day, it was time to call Mom. She lives 8,441 miles away from me. I had not spoken with her in weeks. I pulled myself together and pep talked myself into putting on a happy voice while I fool and convince her that life is grand. It could not be any better.
Ring, ring. Mother picks up. After a few niceties, she asked me how my husband was doing. I replied, “He’s doing really well. He got a promotion and ……” She stopped me mid-sentence and said, “You know [pause]. I’m your mother. You can tell me anything.”
She knew! I could not put on a façade anymore. My game was up. To this day, I can still hear her saying those words to me. I had been longing for those words of rescue like the deserts need the rain. I cried intensely and finally shared what was in my heart. She asked me if I wanted to part ways. I said yes. And the rest was history.
Mom’s words told me that she cares deeply about my well-being and happiness. And that I have her blessings in whatever decision I make, even if it’s against the norms of our Indian culture and what society deems to be acceptable. She certainly surprised me. I’m so proud of her and look up to her for that. Hence, my favorite picture.
To this day, I am still baffled and amazed at my Mom. She was miles away on the other side of the world. She had no information, no visual and no clues. But she didn’t need any of that. A mother just knows! It’s that special bond and connection that no words can explain. My Mom gave birth to me so I could “live” my life not just once, but twice.
So here’s a heartfelt shout out to all the mothers around the world and those that are with their kiddos in spirit. You, as mothers, are very special beings. Selfless, patient, loving and supportive beyond measure. Happy Mother’s Day!
Published: May 11, 2014
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Twizted Myrtle is sustained by readers like you. As a solo creator, crafting each piece demands significant time, money and resources. Your ongoing support, big or small, makes a real difference. If the content here enriches your life in any way, please consider becoming an ally as a sustaining patron.
