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You completeMe

You complete Me

Romantic words that make your heart flutter, and arguably, the biggest crock of shit ever vocalized as the holy grail in the name of love! So what do these words really mean? Let the indulgence begin …

When we tell someone “you complete me,” we’re essentially saying – you need them. Without them, you are incomplete; they make you whole and give you purpose. They, and they alone, make you happy and you cannot live without them.

 .  .  .

As recipients of these heart-melting words, here’s what we hear – I matter! I am needed and desired. With billions of people on this planet, you are choosing me; I am special. I am the source and reason for your happiness. My existence in this universe matters to someone.

Somewhere in our journey, we accepted the premise that as individuals, we are not enough. We need to find that one special someone who will make us whole again. Until then, we are incomplete as we are!

We picked up on this jewel through fairy tales, movies, and song lyrics, among many sources. Both consciously and subconsciously, they weave their influence over time. This message is further enforced by our friends, family and even co-workers, as they become obsessed with playing cupid.

This begs the question, why have we accepted that we are not whole as individuals, just as we are? The answer is frightening – FEAR!

DRIVEN BY FEARS

Whether we admit it or not, one of our biggest fears is that of being alone. We are afraid of being alone today, tomorrow, and especially in our old age. While this may be one of our biggest fears, it is also not the only one.

Do any of these possibly resonate with you? – fear of rejection, fear of not being desired or good enough, fear of not fitting into societal norms, fear of never being loved and cared for, fear of not being able to experience life with someone, fear of loss or abandonment, fear of … the list is endless.

Somewhere in our ingenious brains, we figured out the perfect solution to our fears and problems – find that special someone! That will fix everything.

Dealing with our inner demons and fear is too painful. So we go to great lengths to avoid confronting this pain. We go on a quest to search for our Princess or Prince Charming, who serve as temporary distractions to appease our insecurities and pain.

The truth is you didn’t solve the problem at the root of the issue. You only made it worse by involving another person to your problem, who more than likely has their own demons that they are running away from.

We attract what we are ready for.

DIG A LITTLE DEEPER

Let’s dig deeper to understand what “You complete me” actually means.

We are essentially telling our lucky loving recipient that since they are the source of your happiness, they are now responsible for our happiness. If you are unhappy, it’s because they did something wrong; they didn’t make an effort to make us feel loved or special, especially on occasions like our birthday or Valentine’s Day. It’s their responsibility to make sure that you don’t feel insecure; that you feel loved and cared for at all times; and that they will never leave you.

Both parties agree to deliver on these expectations because it meets both of their insecurities and needs. But if you can’t love yourself, then how can anyone else love you? If you can’t enjoy your own company, then how can anyone else?

We are essentially setting ourselves up for failure; and when the relationship fails, we find ourselves perplexed. Duh!!! No shit! And if that’s not enough, we then simply rinse and repeat.

The root of the problem is that we don’t feel whole and complete within ourselves.

 .  .  .

Perhaps it’s time we question our approach to love. We are looking for love in all the wrong places. Love isn’t hidden in the recesses of online dating websites or the remote jungles of Africa. Love is much closer than we think.

You should be looking for you!

In our quest to find love, the first step is the hardest step – Dealing with your own fears. If you choose not to deal with your pain, it doesn’t make your pain go away; you can run, but you can’t hide from yourself. Running away only compounds your pain and fears over time. And the more you delay, the harder you make it for yourself. It’s your choice!

If you are bold, daring and courageous enough to face your fears, an entire new world will be there to greet you at the receiving end. When you choose to confront your fears and resolve those painful issues, you will begin to experience love like no other – Love for yourself.

This love allows you to accept all of you, as you are – the good, the bad and the ugly. And when you accept yourself wholeheartedly, you don’t need acceptance, love or validation from anyone else on this planet. Your love for yourself is abundant and fulfilling.

You are whole. 

You are the source of your own happiness!

When you love yourself wholeheartedly, you will be ready to welcome life regardless of how it unfolds – you know that you will be happy whether alone in your own company, or if you choose to experience life with someone else who is also whole.

Published: February 11, 2017

Twizted Myrtle is sustained by readers like you. As a solo creator, crafting each piece demands significant time, money and resources. Your ongoing support, big or small, makes a real difference. If the content here enriches your life in any way, please consider becoming an ally as a sustaining patron.

SUPPORT NOW

Twizted Myrtle is sustained by readers like you. As a solo creator, crafting each piece demands significant time, money and resources. Your ongoing support, big or small, makes a real difference. If the content here enriches your life in any way, please consider becoming an ally as a sustaining patron.

SUPPORT NOW
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From Global Roots to Unearthed Truths

Asha was born in India, raised in Oman, and lived in London before settling in the U.S. Her multi-continent, multi-cultural, global experience was a clear predecessor that fed her insatiable curiosity – and the inspiration for her defining Twizted voice.

As a rare breed, she’s truly mastered the art of metamorphosis in body, mind and soul. In her first adult incarnation she graduated Magna Cum Laude from ASU and pursued a vibrant career in the hospitality industry. Then, she grew new wings. Ever intrepid and intrigued by the unknown, she launched and helped grow a thriving e-Commerce technology company with her business partner, proving herself as an entrepreneur and demonstrating both the skills and resolve required of a woman intent on succeeding in a male-dominated industry.

In 2014, she boldly stepped into uncharted territories again, starting a new venture, Twizted Myrtle, in pursuit of her undeniable thirst to confront and create consequential social change. Few understood why she would leave behind a burgeoning e-Commerce business that served marquee clients like Amazon, Samsonite, Viacom, Pokémon, Red Bull, Taylor Swift and other household names – all during the pinnacle of a successful career.

The impetus for leaving the traditional business world for a less conventional path was intensely personal; a deafening voice and inimitable force inside her told Asha that she needed to contribute to the world in a very personal and life-changing way. Asha found herself in the throes of depression and new depths of loneliness. She was acutely aware her “success” was empty. Like many, she had lost her soul in the daily grind of chasing unhappiness.

Ironically, during this time, her depression revealed spiritual clarity; it connected her to the struggles of others who face the same suffocating walls of relenting darkness. Photography became a sacred respite that unleashed a strident voice; like a caged tiger set free, she could never again return to the confined existence dictated by society.

Twizted Myrtle became the multi-pronged platform to confront social issues that we’ve been plagued with for centuries. To break free from these vicious circles, she challenges what we accept, without question, as “wisdom,” and our conventional way of thinking through artistic means – provocative writings, thought-jarring podcasts and captivating photography.

Bringing a refreshing curiosity with the unique empathy of a true global citizen, she speaks with an open mind and unfiltered honesty on a host of issues where most would fear to tread. Her work compels us to see and think differently to help unlock our mindsets from self-imposed limitations. In doing so, she seeks to help people break free from the invisible chains that enslave us as oblivious prisoners. 

Shit that others say about me

Asha was born in India, raised in Oman, and lived in London before settling in the U.S. Her multi-continent, multi-cultural, global experience was a clear predecessor that fed her insatiable curiosity – and the inspiration for her defining Twizted voice.

As a rare breed, she’s truly mastered the art of metamorphosis in body, mind and soul. In her first adult incarnation she graduated Magna Cum Laude from ASU and pursued a vibrant career in the hospitality industry. Then, she grew new wings. Ever intrepid and intrigued by the unknown, she launched and helped grow a thriving e-Commerce technology company with her business partner, proving herself as an entrepreneur and demonstrating both the skills and resolve required of a woman intent on succeeding in a male-dominated industry.

In 2014, she boldly stepped into uncharted territories again, starting a new venture, Twizted Myrtle, in pursuit of her undeniable thirst to confront and create consequential social change. Few understood why she would leave behind a burgeoning e-Commerce business that served marquee clients like Amazon, Samsonite, Viacom, Pokémon, Red Bull, Taylor Swift and other household names – all during the pinnacle of a successful career.

The impetus for leaving the traditional business world for a less conventional path was intensely personal; a deafening voice and inimitable force inside her told Asha that she needed to contribute to the world in a very personal and life-changing way. Asha found herself in the throes of depression and new depths of loneliness. She was acutely aware her “success” was empty. Like many, she had lost her soul in the daily grind of chasing unhappiness.

Ironically, during this time, her depression revealed spiritual clarity; it connected her to the struggles of others who face the same suffocating walls of relenting darkness. Photography became a sacred respite that unleashed a strident voice; like a caged tiger set free, she could never again return to the confined existence dictated by society.

Twizted Myrtle became the multi-pronged platform to confront social issues that we’ve been plagued with for centuries. To break free from these vicious circles, she challenges what we accept, without question, as “wisdom,” and our conventional way of thinking through artistic means – provocative writings, thought-jarring podcasts and captivating photography.

Bringing a refreshing curiosity with the unique empathy of a true global citizen, she speaks with an open mind and unfiltered honesty on a host of issues where most would fear to tread. Her work compels us to see and think differently to help unlock our mindsets from self-imposed limitations. In doing so, she seeks to help people break free from the invisible chains that enslave us as oblivious prisoners.